Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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