I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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