Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
