I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
