She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
