with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
farters have to be the big spoon...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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