ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
