; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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