i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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