i permit you to call me
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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