oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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