I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
