you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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