watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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