I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
