I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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