P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
