i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
