So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
