ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You are the jesus of drinking
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
