Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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