I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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