Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
