today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Randomize