You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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