Are we in a gay sports bar?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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