if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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