We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
