So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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