I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it's great music for shaving your balls
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
