But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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