In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
