I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
