yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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