Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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