yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
