I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
