you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
MIDGETS
????
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
there is glitter all over my balls
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