I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
its not stalking. its research.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
