good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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