we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I love you. Go after that dick
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
