I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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