its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
