just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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