wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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