I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
