oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
