They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
