he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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