it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
