If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
