I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
