just tell him i said nine months
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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