I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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