OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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