I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
