I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
