he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Congratulations! We have a period
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
