And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
