it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Barsexuality is the new black.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
