There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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