He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
