either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i think im in europe. pls send help
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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