awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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