There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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