Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
