I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
