The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she peed on how many people?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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